Still in Volgograd

I am currently still in Volgograd ..
but in 2 months time ..
I am going back to Malaysia for summer holidays ..
I decided to blog here because it's for 1 of my friends ..
Old friend ..
*Old as in past, not old as in age*
She has always being so protected ..
by her family, her friends ..
Only when she went through all the hardship ..
That no one can protect her from ..
She learnt to protect herself ..
But I would say ..
She put up a barrier between her and others ..
It's not a bad thing nor a good thing ..
She just have the kind of look that ,
whenever you see her,
you feel like want to protect her ..
Being her protector,
even though no longer can protect her,
still feel sad and oddly heartache whenever
you get to know that she is hurted ..
She can be strong ..
but just a hard cover of her ..
after all those sorrows she went through ..
She is still so fragile but she would not admit ..
Matured but still pure in heart ..
She might no longer need protection with her hard cover on ..
but whenever she take a rest and take off the hard cover ..
she still needs someone to ly on ..
ly on the shoulder of somebody ..
so.. I just hope she can find someone to protect her ..
from time to time ..
take care of her ..
and accept everything of hers ..
understand the little princess ..
who will always be and always is the same ..

Sorry to say but ...

Dear blog followers,

I am so sorry to say ...

I am now in Volgograd,

And so I opened a new blog,

For the period when i am staying in Volgograd,

So I will be owes updating that blog,

But I will still update this blog whenever i am 

OUT of Volgograd ...

Hehex .. For example, summer or winter holidays,

And so on ... =D

So catch up with me ...

Click HERE and go read and follow it. (If you want)

Thanks for all of you reading my blog! =D

First post from my phone.

Recently I downloaded an apps. Blogger. Nothing do and just read thru a few of my past post. Then i just realised, how pro I am to write those post, so confusing for others who dont know me or mayb only I understand. Whoa. When i read back, even me have to read back a few times to understand.. Clap for myself.. Haha.. But I shall make everything straight forward if I can from now on. :)

OH MY !!

Today i wanted to create a blog for volgograd friends ...

but something came up then i postponed it ...

so i will be updating a bit here first ...

Today something came up,

upset me and I reli don have the mood.

I went out with a friend..

Without my winter cloth..

Just jacket. Cold but worth.

Worth by both way.

Hope to freeze myself and also..

Its worth to go out with that friend.

Our last destination is McDonald.

We ate beef roll there and french fries.

Talk talk and play around with my phone.

Then we went back hostel.

When I reached my room,

I then realise my phone is missing.

So I quickly ran to my friend and asked.

It was not there.

So we keep on calling my phone and a lady picked up.

She asked us to go McD to get my phone.

She told my friend to bring my passport.

Luckily my friend told me and i brought.

Went there,

sit in McD and dont know how to ask.

Just keep on calling my phone,

but no one picked up!!

OH MY !!

Luckily finally they saw us and picked up the phone.

So they wrote my name on the form,

asked me to sign then gave back to me.

THANK GOD !!

I was so scared eventho not my first time.

Now I am back in my hostel safely WITH MY PHONE !!

So glad that they give it back to me.

I have no idea why i didnt check my pocket before i left.

I owes do that before i left anywhere.

Maybe today is just not me.

My soul is not with me i guess.

Hope I wont lost it again !!

Update I am in Volgograd now studying

It has been so long i didnt update my blog ..

I am not get used to writing blog yet ..

over here in Russia ...

I first came here on 27/9/2011,

with a girl named Esther ..

Both of us had fun all the way from Malaysia,

to KLIA,

to Dubai,

to Moscow,

and to Volgograd...

We are so talkative that some of them complained.. xD

It's a great memory and i dont think its gonna happen again.

After that, we met new friends,

celebrated all kinds of celebration here..

Let's see...

Food prepared by seniors for welcoming us.

First celebration with chinese seniors.

A farewell party for one of our church mate..

Christmas tree. (We bought the it!)

Solstice festival. Tang yuan for everyone. *yummy*

Those who were invited to christmas party.

Food prepared by organizers. =P

Singing carols. (Its fun!)

Actually there is 1 more, 

Deepavali festival !!

Too bad i dont have the photos..

Now, I am studying quite well,

nothing hard yet,

they (seniors) say first year is harder.

We are looking forward to that.

Now we are just enjoying and relaxing our life.

Chinese new year is around the corner !

Will update again soon.

Gonna open a new blog just for my Volgograd-ians.

=D 

All are welcome to read that blog too..

Will post the link to facebook. 

Finally,

Thank God for everything is fine and in one piece.

Easy happy life.

Catch up for the next post !

And so..

And so..
This post is again about her..
I read back my memories..
at first i smiled and laughed at myself,
my stupidity, my innocent..
but then all of the sudden,
i felt guilty, felt shame of myself...

I would have done another way,
if she was with me all the time..
We would end up with happy ending ...
A lot more ... but ...
I regretted ...
Coz I lost my confident, my strength,
to hold on to the relationship..
I should have did it better..

I know there is nothing else I can do..
Nothing else can change the fact..
The only thing i can do is ...
saying softly and silently to her:
I am sorry

It has been a long long long time ...

It has been a long long time ...
I didnt update my blog ...
And now I am updating my blog in a different country ...
Russia ... very far from malaysia ...

I cant even get into facebook cause the line is still so slow ...
I think will be able to do so in mid oct ...

Updating this blog is bcoz of smth ...
Too boring so i read one's blog ...
and also suddenly saw some pictures then i think of the one ...
it has been a long long time ...
didnt contact , nothing at all ...
And when I read back her blog ...
Then I just realize, I dont reli know her ...
and understand her at all ...
The one i love and together with ...
for how many years ...
then i realise i don understand her at all ...
what a shame !! haiz ... feel like i am a failure ...

Just wanted to say that ...
I am a failure ... haiz ... =(

Lonely ~

It has been a long long time I didnt feel lonely ...
But recently ...
I met "lonely" ...
It is not good ...
I want someone else to accompany me badly but ...
There is no one else ...
There is one that I couldnt get close with ...
Coz I feel bad when we are close ...
But just cant resist it when I saw her ...
I feel bad might coz of the past ...
Caused a lot of problem just because of we are too close ...
I am so 矛盾 ... (PS: I am very noob in english)
My best friend starts to busy with his stuff ...
Nobody to chat with, nobody to go out with ...
nobody to play with, nobody to laugh together ...
Thats when I met lonely ...
I really hope someone can replace lonely coz I hate lonely ...
Can someone chat with me, go out with me, play with me, and laugh with me?
Need someone that trust me and I can trust her/him...

Still, my heart feel the pain for no reason

I know something is gonna happen ...
Maybe knowing future is not that good ...
I know it doesnt affect me ...
It is non of my business ...
but i just cant accept it...
I wanted it to be that way ...
mentally at least ...
but i just dont get why ...
still ...
my heart feel the pain for no reason ...
Its the best for all of us ...
should be glad and happy ...
Glad for you ...
coz you are happy ... ='D

我的问题。。。

可能是我不够关心人吧！
往往别人闲空的时候，
需要我的时候，
我都是在忙着。。。
但当我最需要人陪的时候，
大家都很忙。。
别人就因为这样，
说我不够关心，不够体贴。。。
那我呢？
关心我的人，
就只有一个。。
我的好朋友。。
我要谢谢你。。。
我会努力去关心别人的！！

Maybe ~

Maybe you are not reading anymore ...
Maybe I dont know you anymore ...
Maybe I understand u no more ...
Maybe nobody cares ...
Maybe I shouldnt be here ...
Maybe I shouldnt appear ...
Maybe you don care anymore ...

Just be happy and be yourself !
=')

I came back ~

It has been a long long time that I didnt update my blog ...
Suddenly just felt like viewing someone's blog ...
and so cant stop myself from updating my blog ...
Just here to say ...
I really hope I can go to Russia ...
Stop from getting into relationship ...
Going to find Russian's girls... =P
Just kidding ...
I dono I have to be happy or sad ...
but I smiled when reading it ...
Still hope u can get a new one ...
Just forget ... =)
Not worth wasting time ...

For the two person I valued the most with one excluded...

I know ...
I can tell the outcome for wad I did ...
Even before I did it ...
But I thought I can at least help a bit ...
In the end, I overestimate my own power ...
I am not so influencing to change it ...
Glad that there is one more out there ...
The one that can change the things appear ...
Hope that things go on better and stay for long ...
There ends my job and I shall quit and relieve...

However,
still one thing I am worried of ...
I thought it should have gone off ...
Out of the mind but still ...
I cant help any ...
Only feel sorry and guilty ...
The right one shall appear no longer ...
Just like the example above ...
Hah! You still always care others more than yourself ...
I watched an anime recently ...
and the male character also valued others more than himself ...
He himself has the lowest priority ...
He would even die for someone he does not know ...
That reminds me of you ...
Value yourself more than others !
You worth it and doesnt matter if it affects others ...
Go on ! Study is the most important ! =D
Glad to see that ...
Uh ~ Time to go ~

Take care ya? both of you ...
May God bless both of you and your families ...
I shall be return some other time to check on the progression ...
Keep it up, for the first one !
Be tough and continue to add oil ! for the second one ...

The past ...

Haha ...
Not a happy smile ...
Just that glad to know something ...
Dont you think those sentences are so familiar ??
Hah ! Coz I used it before ...
When ?? Its the past ...
When you are preparing yourself for one ...
and try to avoid others and also misunderstanding ...
Hoping you can have a chance ...
Chance ??
Sometime when I think back ...
I always dont get a chance when I really really wished to ...
=') Maybe its a good thing ...

Chance ?

When it is still possible,
There is no chance ...
When it is an impossible task,
and there it comes ...
Or maybe not ...
Just that some are destined to get it,
and some are not ...
No matter how,
Those are not destined,
will NEVER get it ...

Why am I not good enough ??

Haha ~
Its the first time ...
I gonna write something out of the topic i just wrote...
Dont ask me why ...
Coz I like it !! =P ...
Actually glad to know bout it ...
Maybe I m just a converter ...
Or means to change something ...
But I am glad enough altho there is some sad ...
To help others ...
Giving others what I can do ...
Maybe nobody sees what comes out after a long time ...
They might just see the present one ...
But I dont blame them ...
Coz I can see the 'result' or 'effect' ...
It comes out good and better than I expected ...
=D

Failed ...

Proven...
Failed ...
Am a failuer ...
Altho my aim got a bit biased ...
But everything just didnt turn out right ...

为什么？

往往，
人们就是对自己没有自信。。。
为什么觉得是别人？
不觉得是自己呢？
我越来越不懂。。。
不是说好的吗？
可能你忘了吧！
不能怪你，只能怪我没进步。
越来越不懂，
就快完全不懂，
可能不懂的不是所读的，
而是写的人。
大家的距离都好远哦。。。
只能怪自己没能得到你的信任，
才会有如此。。。

希望如此...

我希望,
都是在说我.
我把它当是,
我越读越开心,
那是一件好事.
加油!再接再厉!!
=D

Regret ~

Suddenly,
After so many things,
I am really regret ~
Regret bout everything I did ~
Shouldnt come to KL,
It is a waste of time,
and a waste of money,
I will never go on a trip alone next time ~
I cant stop myself from counting how much I waste,
how much I used,
Maybe go with some playful frenz,
It will be better ~